Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in zayinel's LiveJournal:

Sunday, October 14th, 2007
12:53 pm	MEW! Mew mew mew mew meow mrr mew mew MEW MEW MEOW MEOW MEOW STUPID HUMANS MRRRR MEW MEW MEW VET TORTURE MEW MEOW MRRRRRRR HISS HISS HISS Mrrr? (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
1:03 pm	Happy Birthday to me! What did you get me? Today (approximately) I am eight years old. Little fuss has been made over this and I can't understand why. These humans are forgetting their proper level of obeisance to me. I am perturbed. Furthermore, when I was resting on one of the humans, she improperly ejected me from my cozy spot just as I was getting ready to conveniently cough up one of those annoying little hairballs. She should be honored to receive my effluvium! What is the deal here, folks? Really. But something odd is up, and I don't think I like it. Much moving about of largish objects and placing of small objects into large brown rectangular objects and stacking up of the large rectangular objects upon one another is taking place. This seems suspiciously familiar... I have a bad feeling about this. And you know what to do when you have a bad feeling about things... Eat, then hide in the closet. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 20th, 2006
7:27 am	See, mom, I was right! Mom went down to the basement the other day and came up with the "news" that she'd seen mouse droppings and their really are mice down there! Like I haven't been trying to tell her that for months! Silly humans. Learn to speak cat! (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
10:31 am	I had the strangest dream this weekend! I dreamt that cowgrrl took me out of my nice safe comfortable house into that scary outdoor place, and then we got into this big box full of people, and the box started moving! I felt all weird and stuff inside and tried to find a more comfortable place to go but she kept holding me down, ignoring my yowls of protest! It was awful! Must have been indigestion. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
1:13 pm	It's my birthday! Well, we don't know the exact day I was born, but sometime about now, seven years ago, I entered this world and ever since, the humans have been rejoicing in my presence and rushing to serve me - as it should be! But just as I was settling down to enjoy a birthday of being served and petted and pampered, I was informed that I am now considered a SENIOR KITTY! I was so disturbed by this I had to go into my favorite patch of sun and warm my beck... AND my tummy... While I contemplated this. (The humans adored me, as they should, while I sunned myself.) But then I realized - you know what? I'm still SEVEN YEARS YOUNG. So I played with a shoelace for a while until it was well and truly vanquished and properly humble. Then I took another nap. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 25th, 2006
11:58 am	Oh, and... This morning I was sitting quite serenely on the big glass table next to the delicate vase of flowers, which I was ONLY THINKING about eating, thank you very much, when one of the tall humans came in and starting making loud mouth noises, totally ruining the ambiance, until I was practically FORCED to go nap elsewhere. Maybe I should get my own apartment. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
11:56 am	I wish the short human would make the loud noise that makes the clean water enter the large white water dish after he urinates in it. Doesn't he know he's fouling up my drinking bowl? How inconsiderate! meow! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
2:04 pm	Quelle Horreur! The tall female person is mad at me because of last night. She doesn't understand why I was running around like a crazy kitten, pushed aside the 50 pound microwave cart that is on wheels to climb behind the large box of food-that-is-kept-cold, where I unfortunately got STUCK! I yelled and hollered FOREVER - about 30 seconds - before she found me and moved the large box of food-that-is-kept-cold so that I could escape! She made quite the dramatic big deal about it and this annoyed me so I hid in her closet so I could shed on her clothes some more. Oh, you want to know WHY I did it? I did it because meow meow meow meow meow mew mew meow mrrr purr meow. What do you mean you don't understand that? (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
9:48 am	Meow The humans have left the house for the day (except for that big one who lives upstairs and makes the funny noise when he sleeps). I wonder where they go? I meow at them through the door they rudely shut in my face when they disappear but they don't answer. Oh well, I get the bed to myself all day. My schedule today: 8:00 am - 12:00 noon - Sleep on the big bed 12:00 - 12:30 - Have a snack from the cat bowl followed by a drink from the toilet (the water there tastes much better than what mom puts in my bowl!) 12:30 - 12:45 - Try to catch that annoying thing that always disappears when I turn around to grab it, even when I run in circles as fast as I can 12:45 - 2:00 pm - recuperate from the exhaustion of actually having had to do something 2:00 - 3:00 - meow at the large human who gets up and moves things around. Elicit affection and worship from him. Wait for him to warm a chair for me and jump into it the moment he stands up. (Can you believe sometimes he comes back and evicts me!? The nerve!) 3:00 - 5:30 pm - wait impatiently for my humans to come home and adore me. Attack dustballs under the chair. 5:30 - 9:00 pm - meow continually at every human as they arrive home, whenever they go to the bathroom, whenever they move from one room to another, and whenever they sit down to eat, unless they are paying attention to me the way they ought. Wait for them to warm chairs for me so I can sit in them. Give them the cat stare of guilt if they think of taking the chair back from me once I have comfortably settled myself into it. Graciously accede to the squeezes of the small human, whom I am training well. Get him to give me cat treats. Chase that annoying thing that disappears every time I turn around some more. hat is that thing? 9:00 -10:00 pm - complain loudly when I am not allowed into the room with the big bed. Climb on the chair next to the door and try to turn the doorknob, which never works, but which makes a loud enough rattling sound that it disturbs the humans who were inconsiderate enough to have shut me out. Listen to the strange noises coming from the room. 10:00 pm - 3:00 am - sleep on top of the small human to make sure he doesn't go anywhere. 3:00 - 6:00 am - Time to go on a tear! Rattle doorknobs, chase cat fairies, gallop across floor as loudly as possible. Why are the humans asleep at the best time of day? 6:00 - 8:00 am - Humans getting up. Sneak into room as soon as possible to sleep on the big bed which they have thoughtfully warmed up for me. Follow them around and complain loudly about the distressingly low level of cat food in my bowl. *purr-stretch-mrrr* Such a busy schedule! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
8:40 pm	Hello, I am the cat I am the most important being in the entire universe! (Even though the extremely stupid humans around me sometimes forget this fact.) Remember, the first syllable in "meow" is "me"! The condensed version of my life story: One day in May 1999, the world was overjoyed at my newborn presence. I lived with my mother and an unknown number of siblings, whom I couldn't see because my eyes were still shut. But it was warm and Mom was there. One day Mom decided to move. She picked me up by the scruff of the neck - I always hated that! and carried me over a stone wall. I am not sure what happened next - something startled Mom, she was always skittish - and she dropped me behind a bush and ran away! I was so angry, I yowled and yowled and yowled. Soon I was hungry too. Then these GIANTS who SMELLED FUNNY came and picked me up from behind the bush! I was brought into a strange place with two other hostile cats and put into a room from which I could not escape. The giants came in a few times and would pick me up and then put me back down. Soon I could tell them apart by smell - there were two of them. Then a third giant appeared, one that smelled like even more strange cats! I was tumbled into a box and bumped around in a most undignified manner - by now I wasn't feeling very well, either. Finally I was let out of the box and was in yet another strange place. I found an object to hide behind but the giant found me and put me in a bucket of WATER! Another giant, not quite as big as the first, kept coming up to me and making a strange sound over and over. The other cats in the house came to meet me and they seemed polite enough, as well they should have been. After being subjected to the indignity of bathing, I was given food and fell asleep. After a short ten hour nap I felt better and decided to get to know the smaller giant. I took a liking to him after a while and claimed him as my own. We have been together ever since. I realized after a while the giants were called "humans". As soon as I realized they existed to serve me, we all got along much better. And now I am the only cat in the house! Imagine, the entire place belongs to me! (Except for those areas they refuse to let me inspect, the arrogant fools!) Now they bring me food and fresh water on demand, buy me play things, and clean up my poop so I don't have to! There are those annoying vet visits I have to bring up with them however, and the wiping me down with the wet towel things - some improvements definitely need to be made around here! (4 Comments |Comment on this)